Oh, I knew (1) things were going too good to be true! 

            I had read there were nine reasons to break off your wedding.  In my case, it really had nothing to do with the fact that when I woke on my wedding day there it was –

            (2) a barrage of pouring, sheets of hard, pelting rain.

            Everyone knows that rain is bad luck on your wedding day.  Even if the jewelry companies run contests to buy your rings if the official fall of rain is more than an inch of accumulated water, at the airport. 

Alas, it was nothing to do with the weather.

Nor did it have anything to do with the fact that my beloved had

            (3) hired a French maid.

            True, my house is nothing short of a yard sale wanting - no - needing to happen. The French maid turned out to be a worse housekeeper than I.  So, did I have a fleeting moment of doubt wondering why he would hire someone to clean the house when the communication between the maid and I consisted only of "oui" and "non"?  I had no idea what I was agreeing or not agreeing to.

 

            Nor did I think it unquestionable when he informed me he'd invited his

            (4) mother AND

            (5) my sister to stay with us.  Hmm…or was it to live with us?

            No, I just went along in my merry little way, oblivious, thinking "Oh, isn't this nice, he wants our families to get better acquainted."

            And, then I thought, was it normal for him to

            (6) not really like my cat?

            Men don't really like cats, do they?  In fact, I think he HATES my cat. **Sigh** Cats could be replaced. No, hating my cat was not enough for me to break off my wedding.

            I have to admit, a niggling doubt may have crossed my mind, mind you, that maybe, MAYBE, I was just

            (7) unlucky in love.

            But of course, that is a ridiculous notion.  I am just not the unlucky type, if you must know. 

I did think, I must stop wrinkling my forehead when I'm thinking so hard (wrinkles, you know), because I'm just not sure if I should have broken off my soon-to-be-marriage during a particularly mind-blowing, star-seeing, awe-inspiring, spine-tingling climax the other night when he called out –

            (8) was it his secretary's name?

            No, it couldn't have been.  Though I can't seem to recall his secretary's name. That would be infidelity, wouldn't it?

            No, I woke this morning and knew the reason I had to break off my wedding because……
     ****
     ****
            It was going to be an excruciatingly, most horrific, most disastrous, most hideous, most daunting             (9) bad hair day, I’ve ever  had in my life.

            I know I'll be in tears for a week!